Today, I’m bringing you something a little different.
This is the first guest post I’ve ever run on Aliventures, and it’s from the Egyptian blogger Farouk Radwan.
If, like me, you hang around in the personal development bit of the blogosphere, you’ll almost certainly have heard of Farouk. He runs the very successful blog 2KnowMyself, which is packed with straightforward advice on a huge range of topics.
Not only that, but Farouk is also a generous sponsor of Aliventures: you can see his logo over in the right-hand sidebar. His contribution helps me pay for all the things which keep this blog running – hosting, the theme (Thesis), the design and so on.
I admire Farouk hugely: I can only imagine how hard I’d find it to build a successful blog in a second language, but Farouk’s done just that. I see him all over the blogosphere, leaving positive and encouraging comments for other bloggers – you may well have seen his comments here at Aliventures too.
Farouk’s English will sound a little odd to native speakers. I’ve left his post as it stands, because I wanted to give you his voice, not my edited interpretation of it.
So, over to Farouk…
Certainly we are not perfect humans and no one can claim that he has become so skilled to the extent that people don’t have the right to criticize his work, However, in everyday life we across people who criticize us not because they want us to be better but because of other bad intentions.
For example I know that my friend Ali is a great writer and if one day I wanted to tell her a remark that is not positive I will send her a private mail so that she is the only one who sees it but if I wrote that negative unconstructive comment on her wall on Facebook or as a comment on one of her posts then I might be having a different intention.
This is why you should never feel bad when someone criticizes your writing in a bad way:
1) Jealous people always criticize others: If a jealous person noticed some positive comments on your posts he might become jealous and start attacking you not because he wants you to be better but because he wants to put you down.
2) The need for attention: If a person feels that he is not successful or that no one is giving any attention to him he might start criticizing and attacking the ones who have this attention in order to steal some of it. Again not all critical comments come from bad people but when the comment has nothing more than bad words or an insulting meaning than definitely the problem is with the person who wrote the comment.
3) Wanting to feel superior: I have been studying psychology since years and I know that all human beings like to feel powerful to a certain extent however when a person feels inferior deep inside he might not find any good way to feel superior other than to criticize and attack the ones who appear more successful than him.
4) Feeling desperate: If I was feeling really desperate because I wanted to improve my writing then I came across a post that didn’t help me achieve that goal I might attack that person who wrote it not because his post was bad but because I am desperate. I was once advertising for an online course about the psychology of love on Facebook then suddenly a person appeared out of nowhere and started to attack us on the event’s wall. After some psychological analysis it was found that this guy is a DJ who was desperate to find an event that can help him become more famous and upon discovering that our event could not help him he became mad, felt desperate and started attacking us.
5) Reality shock: If a person discovered a true fact that he didn’t like after reading a certain post then he might attack the writer even if the post was great. For example if I came across a post written by Ali that made me discover that people won’t like my blog because my writing style is not good I might attack Ali if I was a bad person.
It’s easy to know whether the person’s intentions are good or bad based on the way he sends you the critical comments. Sometimes a person might write a comment that is not positive on my fan page in front of hundreds of other people yet he does it in a way that never makes me feel that he has bad intentions and sometimes another person sends me a private message that makes me conclude that he has any other intention other than seeing me do better.
Written by M.Farouk Radwan
The founder of http://www.2knowmyself.com
The Ultimate source for self understanding.