I’m back from nine unforgettable days in India, with my family (my parents, my brother and sister, and my fiancé Paul).
Our trip wasn’t just an exciting holiday. We were in Bengaluru (Bangalore) to see first-hand the work of Divya Shanthi – a small charity which has very strong links to our church. In particular, we were there for the dedication of their new baby home (which church members have been fundraising for):
The St Nicholas Baby Home (almost completed!)
And then we headed to Delhi and did some touristy things like visiting the Taj Mahal…
From left - brother, Paul, me, dad, mum, sister.
I’ll be writing a bit about the trip itself, in this post and subsequent ones, but what I’m hoping you’ll take away from this piece are some tips on how to turn inspiration into action.
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One of the most significant shifts in my life in the past few years has been away from the norm.
To be honest, I’ve never been “normal”. As a teenager, I was bright, geeky, and preferred the company of other adults to other teenagers (who felt like a different species from me). But I followed a pretty “normal” track through life:
- I went to school (aged 5 – 18)
- I took my GCSEs (UK exams, taken aged 16)
- I took my A levels (aged 18)
- I went to university
And after university, I was floored. The “normal” path through life which “everyone” followed had suddenly vanished. There were way too many options.
So I did what most of us do when we’re scared and confused. I looked around at what seemed “normal”. What was “expected” of my peer group – not necessarily by ourselves or our families, but by the media and society.
- I took the first job offer I got (even though I knew it wasn’t really “me”)
- I moved away from home, and into London
For two years, my life looked pretty “normal”. I worked 8.30-5, and had weekends off. I didn’t find my job especially fulfilling, but that was pretty much what I’d expected of a job.
I found that I wasn’t happy being normal.
I slowly got into blogging, found people who definitely weren’t very normal – and who were happy about it.
It’s almost two years since I left my job – the only “proper” job I ever had – and became self-employed. It’s not a normal route. My friends from university have either stayed in academia or gone into employment.
And I’m a heck of a lot happier. And this is why…
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A couple of years ago, when Paul and I were discussing the future, we’d expected to be renting accommodation from 2010-2011 – probably a small flat. We were planning to save up slowly towards a deposit, and keep careful records of my earnings so that we could get a mortgage.
Last Thursday we moved into our new house; three bedrooms, a garden, very well maintained – and we’re not renting.
I wish I could say it was down to some hard work and ingenuity on our part. The truth is, it’s not. My parents bought the house in cash, taking on 20% of the equity, and loaning Paul and I the other 80%.
I’m still not quite sure how I feel about this. “Unentitled” is the best word I’ve come up with. I feel like I don’t deserve it, especially when most of our peer group are still renting or saving up for deposits. I feel like I’ve cheated, somehow.
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Something I’ve become very aware of since knowing Tim Brownson is how often I say or think “I have to” or “I need to” when, actually, I don’t.
You probably do this too. Almost everyone does. I’m thinking of things like:
- I have to clean the kitchen this weekend.
- I need to phone my mother
- I have to try a bit of that cake
- I need to lose weight
In almost every case, it’s just not an accurate way to describe the situation. In particular, any time you start feeling that you have to or need to do something because it’s what society (/your friends/your dad/etc) expects, then it’s time to pause for thought.
The truth is, there aren’t many things which we truly need to do. And if you’re want a life which is meaningful and fulfilling to you, then it’s better to focus on what you want to do.
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