This is the first in a three-part series on “Balance”. If you’re not already getting this by email or to your RSS feeder, you might want to get the Aliventures RSS feed or sign up for posts by email (in the right-hand toolbar).
I’m going to hazard a guess that you’ve heard the phrase “work/life balance” quite a few times. It was coined in the 1980s, and gets trotted out by corporations all the time.
There are various definitions, but essentially, work/life balance is about having sufficient leisure time outside your job, and having time to take care of non-work commitments. It’s a concept you’re much more likely to come across if you’re working for a boss rather than being self-employed.
And I’ve always found it pretty dubious. Here’s why.
Work is PART of Your Life
Drawing a line between “work” and “life” implies that they’re two separate areas. “Work” is the place you go to between 9am and 5pm every day; “life” is what you do in the evenings and at the weekends.
The thing is, work is part of your life. If we could behave as two separate beings – the “work” person and the “life” person – then we’d all go for whatever job gave us maximum money for minimum hours. The truth is, though, that if you’re miserable at work, you’re going to be unhappy in the rest of your life too:
Considering how much time we spend at work, it is hardly surprising it can have a huge impact on our mental wellbeing.
(Paul Farmer, Mind’s chief exec, quoted in Guardian article, Workplace stress: why the Sunday blues are ruining our weekends)
I think there’s a real danger in not admitting that work is a fundamental and important part of your actual life and happiness. When I graduated from university and got my first full time job, I went with something which seemed to offer a good “work/life balance”. The job itself didn’t require much creativity; the company was small and willing to be flexible about hours; I thought I could do my work each day and enjoy the rest of my life.
I slowly realised that it doesn’t go like that. Work is a fundamental part of who you are, and if your work doesn’t feel anything like “you”, it’s going to make you unhappy.
Work/Life Balance Favours Employers
The other thing which bugs me about the “work/life” concept is that it’s focused on benefits to the employer – not to workers. Now, even in my most socialist and idealistic moments, I recognise that companies are not charities … but does business really need to be done in a way that implies people are simply another resource?
Picking up where traditional training and work life benefits leave off, 5 Steps to Better Work Life Balance boosts productivity by teaching people how to attain a higher level of Achievement & Enjoyment everyday, both on and off the job.
…
With our work life balance program, performance, accountability and commitment go up and negative attitudes, stress and turnover go down.
I’m sure lots of companies have adopted policies on work/life balance. That might mean flexitime, remote working, an on-site crèche, even game rooms at work. I wonder, though, whether these really meet the needs of employees – and whether the focus is more about squeezing a little extra productivity out of people. Having a company gym might encourage your employees to stay a bit later and do some unpaid overtime before heading for their evening workout. Allowing kids to be brought into the office might make parents feel obliged to cart their kids into work rather than work remotely even when childcare falls through – even if that’s not great for their kids (or for the focus of everyone else in the office).
Settling for Second Best?
The “work/life balance” reflect a cultural mindset which pushes us towards settling for second-best in our work. We all too often believe that all we can really hope for from a job is that it pays the bills, doesn’t take up all our time and energy, and allows us to switch off from work in the evenings and at the weekends.
I strongly believe that’s not the case at all. Yes, of course circumstances sometimes mean that we settle for something less than ideal. But I believe that should be the exception, not the rule. I think it’s shocking that only 39% of young workers (under 25) are even “satisfied” with their jobs. (Americans hate their jobs more than ever, MSNBC).
What’s wrong with our world? When did we tell ourselves that this is “normal” and that expecting anything more from our work – from our life – is, at best, wishful thinking, and at worse, dangerous self-indulgence?
I want to make it clear here that I have nothing against employment. I know there’s a bit of a trend in my corner of the blogosphere for people to rail against bosses (read Steve Pavlina’s 10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job if you want an example). There are all sorts of callings and passions which need a corporate structure in order to be fully realised.
Whatever your dream is, whether you want to be a writer or an actor, or a lawyer in a huge firm, or a bank manager, you shouldn’t feel that it’s unrealistic or unattainable. Don’t settle for a job which isn’t you, which leaves you feeling vaguely unsatisfied in your free hours because you spend most of your time just recovering from work.
The big economic powers – business and government – have a considerable self-interest in encouraging you to work more and to consume more. Don’t assume that talk of “work/life balance” is all about companies becoming nice and warm and touchy-feely.
Cheering cos you think I’m right on? Shaking a fist at your screen cos you think I’m totally wrong? Let’s have it in the comments…
Second part in the series: Balancing Work and … Work
{ 2 trackbacks }
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
I think you’re right on, but that’s just me. Our economy is built on encouraging over-consumption and ill health. When a person steps back and sees this, it’s easier to see how we’ve been sucked into a lifestyle that may not have a single thing to do with our personal values.
Getting clear on my values changed everything, and things seemed to align and cooperate after that. I’ve moved into self-employment, I live simply, I spend more time caring for myself and others . . . It’s not good for the world economy perhaps, but it is definitely good for my own economy and balance!
Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..How to Kick Your Blog into Summer Gear
Thanks, Jean! I’ve definitely cut down on my spending since becoming self-employed; I’m much more aware now that the more I spend, the more hours I need to work … and frankly, I’d rather have the time than the money!
That was exactly the shot of optimism I needed today Ali – thanks:-)
It’s nice to be reminded of the inherent dignity and value we all posess, and that those goals which we hold dear (making a living that doesn’t compromise who we are or those we care about) aren’t crazy, selfish or unattainable.
The logic that makes millions of people willingly spend the best hours of the best days of the best years of their lives in gigantic human filing cabinets and calls it “normal” – is profoundly obscene, and needs to be fought.
In the words of Howard Beale fromt he 1976 movie ‘Network’: “I’m a human being GODDAMMIT and my life has VALUE!”
Kristn´s last blog ..How to Make Good Decisions from Bad Choices
Cheers, Kristn, glad it came at a good time for you!
I agree that there’s something horrific about the assumption that work “must” mean doing something which is soul-less and miserable, just because that’s what everyone else does. I have huge sympathies for people trapped by circumstances — I know that sometimes there really is very little choice — but many of us trap ourselves…
I believe that 21hours would be good as the basic working week as opposed to the massive 40hours (or a lot more). It is too much and cannot be sustained for a lifetime. People are not machines.
Ceridian – The Future of Work
Some would say this is unrealistic but nevertheless, flexibility is needed for the knackered and stressed out worker. It is extremely important and valued by an employee more than anything. If flexibility and empathy are given to the employee by the employer – then stress related absence could be reduced for a start. The employee will give more.
There are many resources for a sustainable working practice. This includes elements of occupational health, counselling, financial and careers advice and also FLEXIBILITY.
I don’t think it’s unrealistic. Having worked in an office and as a freelancer, I feel I get as much useful, productive work done now in 21 hours as I used to do in 40. No meetings, few interruptions, no rushing around doing “urgent” tasks, and so on…
Flexibility seems key, as does treating people as human beings, not human resources.
Thanks for this – I LOVED your post! And I think you are right on. I believe that people suffer being a “resource” instead of being a valuable human because of 2 false beliefs: One, that they live in the illusion that such a job means security (and they are living in fear and lack), and two, that they are not worthy of something better.
And I will say to anyone reading this: “Yes. YOU ARE WORTHY! Now go do something that fills you with joy!”
Blessings,
Keena
Keena´s last blog ..Discover Your Life Purpose
Yay, thanks Keena, I loved your comment!
Those are two harsh and limiting beliefs, and I agree with you that they hold a lot of us back. Since the recession, I think we’re learning more and more than having a job doesn’t equal security … but I don’t know if we’re yet tackling the second one there.
And yes, I echo your words. Everyone is worthy. Everyone has skills and talents that they can use to bring joy to both themselves and to others.
Hi Ali
This: “The big economic powers – business and government – have a considerable self-interest in encouraging you to work more and to consume more. Don’t assume that talk of “work/life balance” is all about companies becoming nice and warm and touchy-feely.”
Is directly related to this: “…only 39% of young workers (under 25) are even “satisfied” with their jobs. (Americans hate their jobs more than ever, MSNBC).”
In the current economic climate those of us with employers are getting the squeeze more than ever. They laid off a huge percentage of the workforce but they don’t want to make or sell any less widgets.
Yep, there’s definitely a link there. There’s a school of management which basically says that to get more out of people, you need to push them, threaten redundancies, basically rule by fear.
(Which I think is horribly ineffective in the long term. People who work for a company which cares about them, in a job which they enjoy, are going to be much more engaged with their work and much more likely to stick around.)
Thanks Ali,
I think sometimes people settle for less than what they want is because they are not confident of their skills and feel that they can’t earn decent money doing what they love to do. That is why only 39% of young people are satisfied with their jobs.
Dia´s last blog ..Power of dreams
Good point. I think we all have skills that we can use for profit. There is sometimes a need to take a rather honest look at the skills which you do or don’t possess (I work in freelance writing, and I see quite a lot of new folks trying to get established who perhaps don’t really have the skills they need) … but I think if we dig deep, we can all find *something* which we genuinely enjoy and could use to benefit others.
Interesting article. If this is the first article in a series of three you might find this brief article in the Washington Post useful: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/21/AR2010052104095.html
It goes right along the same train of thought you began here.
Thanks for the post
Michael Low´s last blog ..21 tips that make your articles almost read themselves
Thanks Michael, interesting article! The next in the series will be dealing with slightly different aspects of balance, but I may well bring in something from that.
I think the rate of %39 will be higher if the employers engage some more buddy for the same job. If they provide exact team work and they are willing to pay how much the work does deserve. When the employees are getting to improve their friendship they will not focus on dissatisfaction, they will focus on solving the problems with team work and together.
Actually I can not imagine that ‘Work’ (9am to 5pm every weekday) isn’t a part of the day. The case is that achievement on work is great but it doesn’t gathered with overtime, it gathered with healthy mind.
I agree that having friends and team-mates at work makes any job better! The drawback is that you can’t choose your colleagues, and you may end up having to work with people who have very different values or outlooks to yours.
I can’t imagine not having *some* form of “work” in my week, but for me, it definitely doesn’t need to be a Monday – Friday, 9 – 5 thing.
I think that the term of Work/Life balance can also have a different twist. What about people who love their job so much that they can hardly find time for anything else in their lives? They feel so fulfilled in the offices (whether it’s a home office or a regular one) that they forget that they also have families or things that they can do away from their job. I think these are the people who have to rethink the entire Work/Life balance equation.
I agree that settling down for something that you don’t love (or at least like) is a bad choice. No matter how much you try to work out that work/life balance thing you will still feel miserable. I also understand that especially now a lot of people do not have a choice of picking what they love to do. When you have a family and little kids you have to think about how to feed them, pay the bills and provide them with everything they need and not about finding the most exciting job. I am not saying that those people should not try, however we all have to make choices based on our priorities and stages in life. No matter how dull work/life balance might sound some people still need it. Actually I think that a lot of people need it but the approach should be different than the one that is used now (I agree that right now W/L B is generally too employer-oriented.)
Thanks Ali for a great post. I am looking forward to the rest of the articles from your “Balance” series.
Anastasiya´s last blog ..The Last Frontier: How to Lose the Last 10 Pounds
Great take on it, Anastasiya… I do think there’s a danger of workaholism. To me, that’s not so much about loving your work above all else, it’s more about being dissatisfied with other areas of your life, and using work as a form of escape.
Yes, some people really are stuck with a job that might not be their thing … just because they needed a job in a hurry, or they need something which pays a certain amount. I think many people (perhaps most), though, *do* have options. And even in a job that’s less than ideal, one option is making sure that the rest of life is balanced as possible, and that you stay as positive as you can about work.
people are in need of this series Ali, most of my friends ruin their whole lives because of their work and according to their beliefs they are doing the normal thing
Farouk´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at
Tell me about it…
Hmmm, why does that first point sound familiar?
But yeah, that’s something I’ve been just thinking about recently. You know how when you focus on the end goal, the process itself becomes less interesting and more of a chore?
I figured I’d like to earn enough money to maintain a comfortable lifestyle (I think I calculated that to be about 20,000 euros per year). But focusing on that, any way of earning the money could easily become a chore. So I figured I’d do something I love (say, life coaching…), and see if I can make the money a SIDE-EFFECT of the awesome work, as opposed to the point.
I’m not sure how much sense that makes, but I was just thinking about it today, so it’s fresh on my mind
Vlad Dolezal´s last blog ..Double Your Productivity And Peace of Mind With Daily To-Do Lists
Hmm, interesting point! Sometimes I find that focusing on the goal helps me to keep things in perspective and helps me stay motivated … but only when I’m doing something (like writing) which I pretty much enjoy anyway.
Yes, that does make sense, and it’s a good angle. Keep thinking.
With all the innovations and advances that we have made in production, technology and commerce we should all be living the easy life, satisfied and cheerful. Not so! We have not made great advances in the quality of our lives as many of us are stressed to fit our daily routines into a day. There is competition for hours between work, home and family duties, and relaxation and fun. The hours are too often allocated in that order.
What’s wrong with our world? I think we have been brainwashed Ali.
Ken for life and social change´s last blog ..Does Commerce Govern Society?
Yes … a few decades ago, everyone thought technology would mean we’d be living lives of luxury by now. I guess they didn’t reckon with the fact that human nature remains the same.
For un-brainwashing, try http://www.freakrevolution.com …
I like the huge amount of advice and values in this post.
I personally see my work as part of my life. I guess I’m fortunate that I directly see how I am able to help others in my own little way through my job. This is the main reason I’m happy with what I do.
Julius´s last blog ..Sign Language Used in Technology
Fab
And yes, I think being able to see the effects of our work and the role we play in the world is really important for job satisfaction. It’s when we’re just stuck in a room cranking widgets that we feel disconnected.
Thanks for your response, Ali.
I can relate to that feeling of being disconnected. A few years ago, I was working for an online media company, (the regular cubicle setting) and I really couldn’t see how my work is helping other people. I lasted around a year with them and eventually I chose to find other work.
Julius´s last blog ..A Workbook to Help You Make Your Site More Accessible
You are talking about a very deep subject here Ali and I hope you dive further into the deep end of this in the rest of the series. I’ll touch on those in a bit.
I absolutely agree you should do something you love and I currently have my “dream job”. But life is a funny thing, this wasn’t always my dream job. My first dream job was to be a Baseball player. Then I found the guitar, so I wanted to be a “Rockstar”, so I got a job in a music store to meet musicians. As it turned out I was pretty good at selling guitars since I loved music and talking to musicians so the company trained me how to sell better. It turned out I loved selling and helping people, over the next 20 years that led me to my dream job of today at running the tradeshow for blogging and new media. It doesn’t have anything to do with music or baseball but I’m pretty sure I love it as much as I would have loved playing in a band for my job. The point is, life happens, you grow up, you get a family and goals and dreams can drastically change.
Lets talk about Work. Throughout history, we have had to work to survive. At no time in human history have we ever had the choice of working less like we do today. You worked from sunrise to after sunset every day or you died. Work gives your life value in a way a life of leisure does not. (I have done both). In a fundamental way “Work = Life”. Work adds value to your own life, the the lives of your loved ones and to society as a whole. If you don’t need money volunteer work can provide similar rewards.
I love working hard and giving a days worth of labor for a days pay. Many employees do not. They give the minimum possible to get their paycheck. So blaming all work/life balance problems on employers is unfair imo. Yes there are bad bosses, bad companies and bad policies but don’t leave out bad workers. How many times have you gone into a store and received really bad service? How many times do you think it was the company’s fault vs. That individual employee or group of employees you dealt with? I would say 99 times out of 100 its the latter. Most employees hate their jobs because they make them bad. Show me a hard worker who hates their job and I will show you the exception to the rule. People who work hard are generally happy, satisfied people. Yes they sometimes have to do jobs they sometimes wouldn’t choose to do, but they know they are doing it for a reason.
Rick, thanks for such a thoughtful and in-depth comment! And thanks for sharing a bit of your own story, it was really good to hear how you’d found your path and direction.
Yes, I made a very one-sided argument in this post. I agree that many employees get away with the bare minimum. I’d argue that these people have — for one reason or another — taken jobs which are not a good fit for them. So, whilst I agree with you that there’s a correlation between hard work and job satisfaction, I think much of this is because if you love your job, you want to work hard.
(Having said that, I do also feel that work will be more engaging and rewarding when you do your best, whatever the job at hand. Doing enough to scrape by isn’t going to make you feel any better about the job.)
Thanks Ali. I know the comment was long winded. I am very bad at leaving short comments. (that’s why I have my own blog =p). But it could have been so much longer. Since you too the time to reply, I’ll take the opportunity to expand a little further. No doubt some people give minimal effort because they just don’t like their job. But I would argue many just don’t like their job because they do not understand the fundamental value of work.
All work is valuable. Even sitting in a windowless room assembling widgets. Someone has to do that work.Without them you and I would not be able to have this discussion. Ken commented above that we are brainwashed into thinking: “There is competition for hours between work, home and family duties, and relaxation and fun.”
I would argue that is exactly the proper order. Hard work, quality work, a job well done gives meaning and appreciation to everything else that follows. I would argue people who think work is just something you do as a necessary evil are not going to be happy in any job and have missed the meaning of life completely. Work ethic is definitely cultural and cultures that inspire, appreciate and reward hard work have happier citizens.
Like I said in the first comment, you are in some really deep water here and this topic goes far beyond “less work and more play makes for a happy life”. I’m not saying that’s what you said or meant with your post; just trying to get beyond the cliche’s on the surface 8_).
I completely agree that work shouldn’t be seen as a “necessary evil” … in fact, I blogged a bit about this last year in a couple of posts on “reframing work” (should probably have remembered to link to these in the post..!)
http://www.aliventures.com/work-ditching-drudgery/
http://www.aliventures.com/do-what-you-love
Yes, I agree that hard work can be rewarding, and I personally find my work hugely enjoyable.
I do think there’s a danger, though, of seeing work as worthwhile purely *because* it is hard. For me, the best work is work which has a meaningful and significant outcome in some way.
The problem is, I think a lot of jobs are pretty empty of meaning … they get tied up in red tape, or they’re related to harmful products like smoking, or shady business practices where making a quick buck is more important than people. So I can see why there are quite a few people who find their work frustrating.
Balance is a myth. What counts is how much attention you give to the present moment. With scattered attention life will never have balance. So decide to really spend time with your kids. Laugh with friends. Work your ass off when you have to. Figure out what truly deserves your full attention, even if it is only a few minutes a day.
I think *perfect* balance is a myth. And I don’t think that balance necessarily means devoting equal amounts of time to a set of different areas. I’d say that giving the proper attention to what needs it — even if it’s just for a few minutes, as you say — helps us to stay in balance.
To me, balance is more like a state of mind than an ability to tick a bunch of boxes about your life..!
I think that if we look at ourselves as valuable human beings and realise that we are capable of so much more than most people tell us we are that we will feel better about the work that we already do. I also feel that part of the problem is that our work isn’t fulfilling but the problem is that we’re not even sure what kind of work would be fulfilling to us.
Great article here!
Eric´s last blog ..Lets Help Each Other: Monthly Experience (April – May)
Cheers! Good point about finding the work which fulfils us … I think it’s a case of trying things out and moving on if something doesn’t work.
(I genuinely thought I’d enjoy full time office work until I tried it..!)
Hi Ali,
I definitely agree with your take on the “work/life balance” term. I prefer to use “life balance” to mean balancing all aspects within our lives (and work being a piece of the pie). I wrote an article on Why I Hate the “Work-Life Balance” Expression, so I’m thrilled to see you take a jab at it.
But I don’t think there’s an agenda behind “life balance.” Just because employers get to benefit from life balance doesn’t mean that they’re using the notion to control or undermine their workers. Of course, everything is open to exploitation (or misuse), and life balance is no exception. But it’s more beneficial to the employee than the employer, in my humble opinion.
Haider´s last blog ..Productivity Woes Over Google’s Pac-Man Game
I think “life balance” is a nicer term!
I don’t think there *needs* to be an agenda behind it, but as I see it, the balance (ho ho) is currently skewed towards the employer rather than the employee. Of course there are some great employers, big and small, who genuinely care about their people (I like Mark Silver from Heart of Business, who has a great take on the place of love in business) … but all too often, I feel that companies are basically just concerned with employees – and for that matter, customers – as numbers not as humans.
I like your post and your take on the phrase, particularly when you say “What you can’t do is balance something with itself or its subcategory!” — Yes, exactly!
It’s like you read my mind )) Thanks for putting it into such greatly structured piece!
Hi Ali
I’ve only just discovered your blog – great post. This is a topic of great interest to me. I absolutely agree with you that the concept of work/life balance makes it out as if work and life are two quite separate things which is ridiculous. I disagree that organisation’s only offer work life balance as a way of getting more productivity and results from the employees, this is of course the theory or the justification for a work life balance program but in my experience many organisations do it out of a realisation that employees are human. One of the organisation’s I worked for made a point of branding their work/life balance program “Links – linking work and life together” as a deliberate recognition that the two interconnected. The organisation I work for currently has fantastic work life balance initiatives and I do not believe it is to extract as much out of the employee as possible, if anything I think it favours employees more – being flexible, offering part time hours, social events, maternity leave, gym memberships etc all come at a cost particularly for small organisations but some organisations see their employees almost like family members and look after them accordingly.
Thanks, Laura! It’s really good to hear about an organisation that’s getting it right — that sounds awesome.
And you’re right, it is tougher for small companies. I think the advantage with a smaller firm, though, is that they tend to be more naturally “human” rather than huge and bound up in red tape. That family feeling is a great one when it works.
Very thoughtful article. For a fresh take on building strong careers and families, check out Getting to 50/50 — on how men and women share roles with all sorts of good results — including a healthier sex life. The book also debunks some common myths that cause many moms to back away from their jobs. Authors Sharon Meers (a Goldman MD now in tech) and Joanna Strober (a private equity exec) share their often funny tales of combining work and family. Definitely a book worth checking out. http://www.gettingto5050.blogspot.com
Thanks for the recommendation! I’m trying to resist buying new books at the moment but will keep it in mind for a future buy…