Comments on: How to Deal With People Who Think You’re Crazy to Quit Your Job

By: Ali

Ali — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:02:42 +0000

Jim, congratulations on the self-employment move – good for you! (And well done on avoiding getting smothered, too…) Hope the transition goes well for you, and hope it’s the start of a lot of new and exciting things.

Dianne, kudos to you on having the patience and love to work things through with your husband. I’m sure that, even with all the practicalities – like paying the rent – accounted for, he’ll be anxiously wanting to be convinced that it’ll all work out well for both of you. “Dialogue” is a good word: sometimes our “discussions” can degenerated into a bit of a monologue…

Compromise, alternatives and, where possible, a win/win situation are great directions to take – thanks for broadening out the conversation to include these. I agree that feelings are extremely important and often underacknowledged: we tend to find it hard to articulate, even to ourselves, *why* we might feel resistance about something.

By: Dianne

Dianne — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:30:10 +0000

Again, another timely post! (and this time I’m only 3 days late reading!) I am a week off my ETD . . . mostly because of hitting a wall with my husband. But I am working through things, trying to understand his fears (he’s known this and seemed agreeable for a while but now is getting nervous I guess). The crazy thing is – we can absolutely survive on his income alone. It’s the lifestyle changes we’re facing (temporary, I might add) that seem to be part of it.

My point is there is always some underlying reason for the resistance. Taking time to step back and listen seems to help. Our society is not big on dialogue – we seem to prefer straight up answers – but asking things like, “how do you feel about XXX” is making a difference. I’m also asking for him to propose a compromise or alternatives. I think he’s seeing I do value his input and his feelings. I realize this is slightly different than just talking about the support of one’s parents or friends but nevertheless, good dialogue always seems to open doors. (dialogue actually means to talk through something – as opposed to “discuss” which has at it’s root the idea of beating someone over the head i.e. concussion!)

Good stuff – keep it coming!

By: Jim

Jim — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:21:45 +0000

I hear ya. It may appear sexy to some to work in large bureaucracies, but having spent an entire career in one and now transitioning to self-employment, I’m amazed that the lack of oxygen from being smothered hasn’t left me brain dead.
Jim´s last blog ..Generation Y’s Job Plight: Top 12 Tips for Gen Y

By: Is This The Moment?

Is This The Moment? — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:32:09 +0000

[...] How to Deal With People Who Think You’re Crazy to Quit Your Job over at Aliventures [...]

By: Ali

Ali — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:36:25 +0000

Thanks Tristan. I think my parents felt pretty similar when I left my day job to blog (and write and some web stuff) full time … but now I’m making a living from it, they’re convinced! I probably had an advantage over some folks cos I’d left home by then: if you’re still under your parents’ roof, it could be tricker.

Sid, cheers! I put all of ten second’s thought into that permalink. (More than usual, I should admit!) Jonathan and Tim are great – though my style’s a bit softer.

Good point about other people’s emotional reactions. I think, on reflection, “calm and rational” might not have been the best way to put it. I’m aware that my tendancy is to get defensive very quickly, so I guess that’s what I was cautioning against.

Walter, it is definitely not an easy step to take. I’m sure it’s possible to be successful *without* quitting your job – depends on your definition of success, after all! For many of us, though, the 9-5 world doesn’t come close to letting us live the lives we want.

By: Walter

Walter — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 06:50:39 +0000

To be honest, it’s not an easy thing to quit ones job. Still, all successful people that I know quit their jobs. I admire your courage in following what you want in life, and I envy your family who is supportive of you.

By: Sid Savara

Sid Savara — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 02:56:22 +0000

Can I just say first off, this is the best permalink you’ve ever had.

And second, I love both Jonathan Fields and Tim Ferris’ writing, so this article had me at “crazy-quitter”

I think staying calm and rational is a good call, but I think we should also look at the other side of it – other people are not to react emotionally too, so perhaps considering that (and not being too “rational”, which I have a tendency to be) might help smooth things over =)
Sid Savara´s last blog ..Personal Development Roadblocks – Pushing Pleasure Buttons

By: Tristan Lee

Tristan Lee — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:49:45 +0000

Nice tips Ali on how to deal with people who think you’re crazy for quitting your job. I’m going to school right now, but I like to blog. My parents probably have the opposite feelings compared to Nathalie, which is they think it’s crazy not to get a job and blog. So, then… how do you deal with crazy parents? (Just kidding). Hehe.
Tristan Lee´s last blog ..50 Random Moments to Value in Life